Grapefruit: fruit of the gods. If the Tree Of The Knowledge Of Good And Evil had only been a grapefruit tree, humanity wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in.
We’d still be in Eden, lounging by the shimmering pool in our vast and lush inner courtyard, soaking in the dappled sun and sipping on the sparkling water of life.
But we digress.
Every sparkling water brand out there takes a crack at grapefruit, and we’re always on the hunt for the perfect one. It’s astonishing how many variations on this flavor there are, how many different shades of grapefruit can be conjured in the flavorlabs. From Ruby Red to bitter pith, it’s a kaleidoscopic, shimmering citrusverse out there.
We’d been acolytes of The Pamplemousse since we were born, suckling on a chilled sparkling bottle of grapefruit milk the day we sprang out of our father’s forehead. So when we first saw Waterloo’s old-timey can promising, simply, “grapefruit”, we looked askance.
But what fools we were. This was our first entry into the Waterloo cosmos, and it changed our lives almost instantly.
Waterloo consistently serves us solid, juicy, vibrant flavors, and their grapefruit might even be king of the fruit pile.
On the first crack of the can, there’s not much in the nose. It’s a pleasant enough, but thin, waft of pink citrus. Upon a deeper sniff, we even detected notes of white grapefruit! Quelle horreur. We save that for scrubbing the bathroom tiles.
But all of that changes when you take the first sip. Waterloo’s bubbles veer towards the intense, and this one is no exception. The first wave is all bubbles, sparkling and popping, and you’re not sure you’re tasting anything.
Then the grapefruit arrives. It shows up towards the middle of your mouth, and quickly blossoms into a mosaic of each facet of Citrus paradisi: the juicy tropical pink, the bitter soft sinews, the green leaves, the sour echoes.
But it disappears as quickly as it appeared, as the last bubbles trickle and tickle down your throat. Was it all mirage?
No. It was real, and it’s about as real as they come in the vast constellations of grapefruit sparkling water. While other brands select a side or two of grapefruit to reveal, we’ve found only Waterloo to be true to the full spectrum. There’s just a kind of profound depth to the flavor that quenches our thirst while paradoxically, and perfectly, drying out our mouths.
If we had to choose one to take back to the Garden, this is it.
We’re not sure why we got so weirdly biblical with this review, but we are sure about our feelings of reverence towards this sparkler. So we’ll leave you with a passage from I Citrusinthians:
“When I was a child, I drank pamplemousse as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a bubblenaut, I put away childish things.”
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