Somehow Perrier has eluded us thus far in our explorations of sparkling water. It’s not just that it’s mineral water, and we have tended to skew towards the more millennial, pastel and artificially carbonated in our coverage.
But something about it made us uncertain it was for us at all. Didn’t Perrier kind of peak in the ‘80s with Grey Poupon and silk turbans?
Perrier is like Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous if, instead of people, you had cans of sparkling water laughing in sports jackets and yacht captain hats. Just look at this bizarre commercial from 1990 where fancy white people make out with mannequins and perform ventriloquy in fields.
Basically, we just haven’t been sure we’re Perrier’s demographic, either in income bracket or peculiar extracurriculars.
So excusez-nous that in the Sparkling Water Renaissance that we are currently living in, we kind of threw Perrier and its snotty French roots overboard, like Goldie Hawn in the iconique and eponymous lavish ‘80s film.
However, we know it’s a standard-bearer, a bellwether, so eventually it’s hard to look away from the towering Tour Eiffel of Sparkling Waters, the 150 year old French Classic: Perrier.
Like a fancy yacht sailing along the coast of Monaco, eventually our eyes turn yonder to the ostentatious sailing vessel and we whisper, “Wait. But is that Cucumber?”
And the Perrier Yacht whispers back: “Mais oui. Je suis le concombre.”
And we say, Well dang. Ahoy. Let’s crack that open. Because we really can’t resist any flavor sparkling water, particularly not the refreshing possibility of Le Concombre.
We’ll admit: The can make us chuckle a little. Refusing to be one of those common 12 ouncers, this can reeks of French elegance. This can is ‘80s slim, like Virginia sipping on a Tab, clocking in at a restrained 8.45 oz. 🚬🥤
We crack this open, and like the sea this Perrier Yacht sails in on, the aromatic cucumber is swirling in a salty sea. It’s fine, airy, soignée. We mentally note that we may have been missing out by ignoring this sparkling stalwart. This is enticing.
Our first quaff is pure, ripened cucumber. Cucumber is one of our favorite flavors in the bubbleverse. When done well, it’s aromatic and enlivening, subtle yet nuanced.
Sparkling water flavors can skew cloying or sweet or one-note, but this one, unsurprisingly, is a Parisienne sophisticate. A cucumber we slice and garnish on our fancy cocktail as we people watch in Le Quartier Latin. A straight up rêve.
And it’s not just the cucumber that’s sending us. We absolutely love the salty finish to these. It’s pure minerality. Authentic, satisfying. It’s why we do love those earthy, genuine sparkling mineral waters.
Like Topo Chico, this is subterranean sparklemancy, and we love the stimulating and invigorating mouthfeel that we get as we work our way through these eight ounces that go far too quickly.
Sipping this Cucumber Mineral Water is as refreshing as a stroll along the shores of the French Riviera. (Stuffy British voiceover rolling around in your head to give you that full Perrier experience.)
This can insists (underneath the cucumber) that there’s a “hint of lime”. We don’t really get that here, and to be honest we’re not necessarily missing it. The lime can sometimes bring a sour finish and whatever subtle lime they are working with really allows the cucumber to shine.
The can also proclaims in the fine print: “Water captured at the Source in France.” And we just have to say, Oh, Perrier, you’ve captured our hearts, too. We’ll overlook that time you made weird commercials stroking your own bottles.
Carbonated Mineral Water, Natural Flavors