New LaCroixs!!!

It’s been about two or three weeks since LaCroix announced their newest trio of flavors, which they vaguely claim are inspired by “summer.”  But it’s felt like two or three years to us, because we have been dying to get our hands on this evocative new lineup ever since they graced our Instagram feed.

The names Beach Plum, Guava São Paolo and Black Razzberry are disjointed and intriguing. LaCroix’s attempt at creating some kind of cohesive “summer” narrative with these three flavors is total chaos, and we’re living for it.

We finally managed to get our mitts on all three just yesterday!  (LaCroix posted a hot tip on Instagram that these are now available at Albertsons and their progeny: Safeway, Vons, etc, if you want to track these down yourself.)

Beach Plum was the one we were most excited about.  White sand and the ocean plus stone fruit was just not a flavor combination we saw coming, so we had to know what it was all about.

Let’s first discuss the elephant clip art in the room: THIS CAN.

This is LaCroix’s first foray into an image (dare we say art?) on their cans, and it’s a wobbly initial step. We know this is LaCroix’s branding aesthetic in general, but honestly, it looks lazy. Goofy. It’s pretty endearing, tbh, but wtf.

We imagine the genesis of this can went something like this:

The team crowds around the graphic designer’s laptop while they discuss the color palette for the can: something golden and pinkish purply. But we can’t make it too attractive!  LaCroix’s brand guide is always tip-toeing on the line of good taste.

Suddenly, the graphic designer’s screensaver comes on.  It’s a basic-ass beach, some random default sandy white thing. The assembled crowd gasps, and an A-ha! Moment descends. That’s the can.

Once that’s done, slap on a weak 2D rendering of a “plum” that looks more hairy and veiny then the world might have wanted, and call it a day!

End scene.

All of it feels deeply inspired by a Sandals commercial.

Thankfully, we think they spent a little more time on the flavor. Because, well, Beach Plum is really good.

Beach Plum, take us away.

Upon first crack of the can, we get a whiff of what we’re in for.  The nose alludes to a freshly cut coconut by way of a Piña Colada machine.

This isn’t the Suntan Explosion of LaCroix’s Coconut, but the more subdued vibe of a creamy coconut mixer.  Big Cabo All-Inclusive Resort Energy.

(Also, weirdly it smells like a green apple. We promise once you smell it, it will be all you can smell.)

Tasting Notes

🥥🍹😎

It took us a while to put our finger on this one. It’s definitely giving us beach.

And then we realized:

RUM. This tastes like rum. Possibly even Malibu Rum, as something at first ethereal on our tongue suddenly coalesces into unfortunate memories from High School + that saccharine poison.

But there’s a warm, toasty sugar flavor in here, that caramelly sweetness that is super specific to Rum.

The fruit flavors in this combo roll like beachy waves between that crisp green apple on the nose to ripe pineapple. Plum is one of those fruits that varies wildly in terms of expression for us.  Underripe plums are sharp and tangy, with a bit of a bite.

But the Beach Plum would fall into the overripe plum category.  There’s an expansive, mellow fruitiness in here that could be interpreted as an approximation of a plum, but which could also be any number of other fruits headed towards the mush phase of life.

When LaCroix announced this flavor, we were deeply perplexed.  We weren’t exactly sure why Plum specifically was the fruit they decided to orient this flavor around. Plum isn’t the beachiest of fruits. It’s no papaya or pineapple. Plum evokes fruit pies and midwestern picnics.

It’s an odd choice.

But then it struck us: it’s because plum rhymes with RUM and they were dropping clues for us along the way!  The Bubbleverse always solves the Mystery of the Vague Flavor.

Beach + Plum = Rum is the equation LaCroix came up with, and it works.

The finish manages to achieve a kind of biting alcohol-ish note which leaves you with a big Rum impression.

We don’t know how they did it or why they wanted to do it, but we’re glad they did.

The more you drink this, the more you realize how truly bizarre Beach Plum is (from whose brain did this idea spring forth??), and yet the more you drink it the more you love it.

We think this might be LaCroix’s finest creation.

It’s confusing, it’s tacky, it’s delicious.

If this is the future of LaCroix, the future tastes very bright. Consider us Beach Plums.

ingredients

"Carbonated Water, Naturally Essenced"

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